The Spiritual Test called Covid

The events surrounding health that began in late 2019, like any crisis, was a spiritual test. I'm not a scientist or doctor. I don't speak about those aspects of it. I am a human on a spiritual journey.

The mass campaign blasted over every channel of communication whipped up a frenzy of constant fear. Literally, to face or cause possible death at every turn from something that no one seemed to have any control over. Even the signs over the freeway in Oregon, which normally tell you the weather or traffic conditions, were blaring, "Wear a mask so you don't accidentally murder someone."

To me, the test was not in how well you obeyed every directive from wearing a mask in the forest to getting never ending injections. That showed your "gold star" standard to being unquestionably obedient to external authority. You were probably a really good student in school, too. Good for you!

The real test for me was in how you treated other people. You know, those of us who needed to breathe the air in the forest to build up our immune systems. Or sit quietly in the sunshine far away from everyone yet still got yelled out and publicly shamed?

Not everyone could get those injections for legitimate reasons. I wonder if those who were so judgemental ever bothered to ask why?

To me, the most important questions to ask is this; whatever you chose to do or not do in this crisis, did you treat people with compassion? Did you learn something about what's most important to you?

Certainly, there were many people that did pass away. I'm sorry for anyone who lost a loved one during this time. No one was unaffected by this crisis.

I got Covid twice. Both times from the same person under the same conditions. In January of 2020, I was still recovering from a serious tooth infection which required me to take antibiotics for an extended period of time. My immune system was compromised. I became very ill. I prayed hard and drew heavily on my spiritual beliefs to get me through it. I recovered after a few weeks.

The next time I got it in 2022, it was from the same person. I made the mistake of going to a big concert while I was still recovering from another serious tooth infection that had gone on for months. It wasn't because I had the injection or not. It was because I had been on battling infection. I got very sick. I kick myself now because I had some remedies that could've helped me. I wasn't thinking clearly at the time.

Again, I recovered. I needed to dig deeper though. Why was I getting tooth infections in the first place? That was the real "root" of the problem that made me vulnerable to Covid. It had to do with how I was ACTUALLY feeling emotionally in my personal life. My partnership was inauthentic in important  ways. Neither a spiritual union nor a traditional marriage. I was in limbo land without the legal protections and social status of marriage AND also without the spiritual fulfillment and protection that a union directed by the divine would provide. It was really the latter I desired. There had been love. Just not the proper structure to hold the sacredness of it.

I HAD to deal with the difficult emotions in order to accept that the desire for a sacred union was not going to actually happen in this connection. It was more of a superficial relationship, lacking any real emotional depth. That type of connection might be just fine for some people, but definitely not for me. I had tried and failed on numerous occasions to create a more safe structure for myself. I let go and opened up to changing my life in big ways. My body wasn't lying to me. Covid forced me to face the truth.

So I believe there was a spiritual test, different for each and every one of us about the choices we made and why we made those choices. It's none of my business what choices any other person made. My hope is that many of us learned to be more honest with ourselves so we could enjoy a sense of peace about those choices years later if we were one of the fortunate ones to make it through the crisis.

I do live a much more emotionally honest life today with authentic connections. My teeth are healthy again. Overall, I'm healthier than I have been in many years. I  have the Covid crisis to thank for getting me on the right path.