The year was 1964. The place was Jefferson Elementary school in central Pasadena, California. My mother and maternal grandmother took me to my first day of Kindergarten. It was a big day for me, like it is for most children. I finally got to go to the same place my older brother and sister disappeared to most days. It seemed like a mystery. Yet something big kids do.
I entered the playground with the other kids. I played on the swings. I remember waving at them to let them know I was okay. No tears because I was a big girl now. That's all I remember about that day except that I felt special and loved by mom and Gammy. Yet I heard the story of that day for most of my life. My mother repeated it to me often until she passed away. She said her mother observed me with the other kids, turned to my mother and said, "She's a natural born leader." I had a close connection with my Gammy. Still do. She saw me as special and I her. What IS leadership exactly and what did my Gammy see in me that day over 60 years ago? Well, it means, you have a charisma that draws people to you naturally. You have vision, courage, strength, character, HEART, and are good at thinking on your feet in a crisis. You can solve problems naturally. You can read the room to understand how people are feeling. The negative part of being a leader is the constant challenge to your perceived power. The worst part for me are the negative projections people have toward me because of their past experiences with female authority figures. My leadership style is feminine. It's collaborative. I am not a bully, which is a common misconception of leadership. Bullies are insecure people. They have to yell and mask themselves to hide their weaknesses. A true leader doesn't need to do that. I've spent most of my life hiding behind the leaders with the titles or official roles. I was the advisor or the person to serve them so they'd succeed. I enjoyed it. They were carrying the responsibility which is not easy. They also had the power. I gave mine willingly to them. It didn't always mean what I thought it would. I believed they would take care of me, which was true particularly with certain executives. Sometimes I was also acknowledged publicly. More often in my life in general, people became arrogant and egotistical once they arrived at the success they desired. They benefited from with my support, ideas, advice and power. Then, after that it was as if I didn't even exist. There is something calling me forward now though. I'm done trying to understand it. I've studied numerology. My life path is all about power and leadership in that system. I've learned about Astrology. My 10th house is ruled by Aries with Mars and Mercury placement. All that means is, yes, leadership. I accept I am a leader. An effective one, too. No more hiding it or hiding behind other people. God must've made me this way for a good reason. So, the best way forward for me is to let a much higher intelligence guide me toward the best uses for my leadership abilities. In my heart I believe the only leaders we can trust are those who are not ruled by their egos, but instead, by God.
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